The other loves in my life
Family. My family is so important to me. I thank God for my wife Marcia, and my son Kevin. They are two of the most important parts of my life. They come before our farm and this barbecue hobby turned business. They come before my church involvement, ministry, and any other area of my life but one; my relationship with Jesus Christ.
I believe if you are reading this, it is no accident. You may be smiling now, you may be indifferent, you may be angry, but you are here. If you are either of the latter two, trust me, I don't want to preach or offend. God has blessed me so much, and he has saved my life - not only in a "spiritual sense" but in the natural. Since you are here, I hope you will take a moment to read my story:
He saved me in the natural:
In April, 1999 I was laying in my hospital bed. I had been in the hospital for three weeks and the doctors still would not tell my wife Marcia whether I was going to live or not. For reasons unknown I had lived to age 47 with no symptoms of the congenital defect in my pancreas which had now caused it to go into "attack mode". I won't share all the details, but the bottom line is that it had digested itself to the point that it was disolving and leaking those digestive fluids into my abdomen. This was causing further "digestion" of other organs. I had a tube down my throat pumping fluid out of my stomach. I had another tube that had been inserted through my side hooked to an electric pump, pumping black goo into what looked like a mason jar at my bedside. Areas of my abdomen were not draining, so a third tube was inserted through an incision into my chest to a fistula, (pus pocket), that was refusing to drain.
As dire as this situation was, a miracle had already taken place in this misrable body. Weeks earlier when I was admitted to the hospital my body was swollen to the point that I looked pregnant and full term! X-rays and CT scans were taken to determine the extent of damage. CT scans reveals two areas of my colon that were dead. Marcia and I were told by our doctor that these areas would need to be removed or they would turn to gangrene. Surgery would be within 1/2 an hour. I would be given a colostomy bag, and further surgery would be necessary to repair the damage down the road. Surgery would last 5 hours minimum.
I asked the doctor if he believed in God and he said, "no, why?" I said we needed to pray. My life, although already taking some unexpected turns was about to take another drastic one. Marcia and I took his hands in ours and we prayed for him, the other doctors involved, and the nurses. I remember on the way to surgery quietly surrendering myself into God's hands. I was completely at the end of myself. I was helpless. I remember the total peace I felt as I was wheeled into surgery. I didn't know what lay ahead, but I knew I could rest in God's hands.
Three and a half hours into the "5 hour minimum" surgery the surgeon came into the waiting room to tell Marcia that things had gone well and they were finished. Marcia would later tell me that in ICU she had peeked at a chart on the foot of my bed and saw a picture of what seemed to be a large metal cookie sheet. To her horror as she looked closer she saw that this metal sheet was on my thighs and on it were all my intestines! The picture was taken while I was in surgery. It was called "running the bowels". This proceedure checks every inch of the bowels. The purpose was to locate the dead areas and remove them.
My first clear memory, other than flashes of memories in ICU, was waking up back in my hospital bed three days after surgery. My doctor was standing, leaning against the wall next to my bed watching me. I looked at him as he watched me..... his first words to me were: "Jack, remember you asked me if I believed in God?". I said: "yes, why?"
He said: "Because they found NO dead bowel tissue in you!"
I may never know why God chose to do a miracle in my body that day. I may never know why I still live with the effects of that season in my life..... But as I look back at that time in my life I see that the bigger miracle for me that day was the peace He gave me beforehand and in the middle of a very stressful time.
I have come to learn that this peace is available to me any time, in any and every situation life may bring me........ if I will surrender my fears and anxiety to the God. Once we get past all the religion and misconceptions we may have heard or learned about God and seek Him in our heart we will find Him. God is not about religion, He is about relationship.
If you are going through a tough time right now, or you have never experienced this intimate relationship with God and you would like to, then I hope you will open your heart and invite Him in today.
The simple truth - God is perfect.
He is perfect in His love, and He is perfect in Righteousness. When I examine my heart, I know I am not perfect, far from it. Sin has separated me from God. I may not have murdered anyone but the Bible says that if I have hated or had anger toward anyone in my heart it is as if I have. Sin resides not just in my actions, but in my heart....... especially in my heart. Just as oil and water don't mix, in my sinful condition I can't be in relationship with a Holy and Righteous, Perfect God.
Sin has consequence. The penalty for sin is death..... spiritual death, which is separation from God. I will never be able to measure up to the standard required for a relationship with God because the standard is perfection and I will never be perfect. Yet God, in His perfect love, paid the price of the penalty through Jesus. Jesus died on the cross to pay for MY sin. I will never be able to measure up. But now when God looks at me he doesn't see my sin, He sees me in my righteousness - paid for by Jesus on the cross. Relationship is restored. Now I can have a personal relationship with God, the Creator of all! Why would He want a relationship with little ol' me? I don't know, but I'm sure it must have something to do with that Perfect Love that I'm still trying to wrap my arms around.
The reason I share this with you is that I want you to have the opportunity, if you haven't yet, to know this love and be able to experience this relationship with God.
If you'd like to it's really very simple. It's like if I were to give you a car as a free gift. Even if I made the payment for the car, signed the paperwork putting it in your name, drove it to your house and offered the keys to you...... the car wouldn't belong to you until you do one thing........ you have to reach out and take the keys!
First, you have to realize admit that you are sinful and don't measure up to God's standard - perfection. This is like realizing payment must be made for the car - it's not free. If you are not sure about this one, ask God to show you. If you ask Him honestly, with a sincere heart you will see none of us measure up. It's up to you whether you "harden your heart" and refuse to listen, or you soften it and admit it first to youself and then to God.
Second, you have to believe that Jesus paid the price on the cross for your sin. That is like realizing I paid for that car for you. You paid nothing - it was a free gift.
Third, you have to receive the free gift of God's forgiveness through Jesus. This is like the reaching out and taking the keys from me for the car.
It's that simple. God loves you. He wants a relationship with you. But He has made it clear that the only way to that relationship is through His son Jesus. If you would like that relationship admit your need for a Savior (Jesus), believe that He paid the price and receive the free gift. Some would try to make it complicated (that's called religion) but, it really is that simple.
Is there any reason you couldn't do that right now? It isn't about saying the right words it's about your heart. If you're not ready, that's o.k. Ask God to help you. When you're ready you'll know it. God is patient, and loving. He will wait, but...... If you feel Him knocking on your heart, I pray you will invite Him in.
God bless you
Jack